Spotlight

Being heard, that’s all people really want isn’t it, and not just listened to, but actually heard. How many of our emotional reactions stem from the feeling of not being heard? Shouting silently into space, and being hit with its gusty return; slap right across the cheek. Thwack! Ouch! It stings.

How can we be heard if we don’t even respect our own voice, or, think it worthy of hearing ourselves? To even know what it is we want heard in the first place, but still have the intense feeling of not being heard. Huh? How does that even work? I’m pretty sure I’ve battled this unknown frustrating feeling, for the best part of 15 years. Shouting for help when you don’t know what you want help with. Puts hands in pockets, kicks stone across yard, sighs hard, a gentle rage builds, kicks stone harder. Know that feeling?

We get told to stop following people online that make us feel bad about ourselves, right? The thing is there are so many good, inspiring and helpful resources out there. The kicker being, how quickly we get lost in following such a diverse melee of information, that we begin to block out our own voice, we cant find it anymore, or hear what its saying.

Hello from the other side! It sings, from deep in there somewhere. Hello…is it me your looking for…to which we respond, nope sssh!…Look! Such n such influencer super star is saying…I need to dance the funky chicken at 5am to loosen my joints #mobilityfam (It’s the golden hour hun, productivity high five), THEN spend 3 hours squeezing my gluteus Maximus so I have strong glutes, THEN I need to get out of the echo chamber, touch the void, trigger myself and unpack all of that shit, all while our planet slowly dies. #youcantdustforvomit Phew! You have approx. 5 mins to perform this routine as you have wasted 95% of your time watching someone else do it. FUCK MY LIFE! Do you hear me?

How do we separate the wheat from the chaff? Stop the incessant searching of the outside world, and turn inward, to our own wisdom. Yes, our own voice. We can still have all the socials, but we need to build on hearing our own voice, so we can separate the wheat from the chaff. Be our own expert. Cut the crap.

I’m coming into my third month being unemployed, living at the family home, trying to make changes, and create a plan or a path I am excited/energized by. It’s A LOT of pressure, but mainly, time. I am grateful to be afforded this time, I just didn’t realize how incredibly uncomfortable it is. The spotlight is on girl. What ya gona do!? The scrutiny #scrotiny. And yes my friends I’ve dove deep, deep into the world of socials, to hear a different voice. I flip flop between calling bullshit and then thinking their story, is my story. OH SHIZEN HOFF.

What I have started doing is…judging myself…no! I joke! I actually started to Future Self Journal. To tap into my inner wisdom, and hear myself again, to work at being uncomfortable, and accepting that this is how things are going to feel like for a while. I want to be my own expert. Super nerding go!

Where did I hear about this future self journaling you say? The all-encompassing world wide web don’t you know! There is a wonderful lady who provides a free template in order for you to follow daily. Dr. Nicole LePera I also recently read an article in Women’s Health Magazine on body positivity. Professor West, a researcher behind the naturist studies recommends mirror exposure therapy. That is repeatedly observing your own naked body (approx. 20mins at time) in a full length mirror. Overtime it is said it can reduce people’s negative and anxious responses to the way they look. I think future journaling is a form of this for your mind.

I get up daily starting my day by working through my journaling. I do so first thing in the morning, as this is the time that works best for me. I have been doing this for 12 days now. Not long I know. I’ve gone back and re read all my entries. What is prevalent? A voice that is growing in strength. Yes! Now I need to go ahead and hear it. Below I share some of my journaling snippets with you.

I am peaceful and aware. I will be my own cheerleader. I will acknowledge my own strength, and not seek out my weaknesses to diminish my current position. I can be clear about what i want without being anxious. I am able to adapt. I will be less affected by others agendas. I am a lovely worthy woman. I want to be less dismissive about what I am trying to do. I am grateful for my determined mind. More belief in what I see as a path. I have something to contribute.

I look forward to my voice becoming stronger and more direct. Let’s stop playing victim to our inner limiting beliefs. Tease them out, expose them onto the page, read them allowed. Hear them. Let them lose power. Read how wise our own advice is, that inner wisdom we all possess. Our expert. We are our own teacher. We can cheer ourselves on. Tap into that low rumble of wise wild power. Put on our invisible super hero suits, and beat the bejaysus out of those inner demons. Shout them down with our strong minds, so they can hear our ROAR.