I’ve read somewhere, that each of us are born into this world to learn certain lessons in life, and that our life experience repeats patterns of, versions of, these lessons throughout our time here in this incarnation. Everyone has different lessons they cyclically relive, recreate and experience for themselves. Life is what you make it…but the questions our souls are trying to understand lead us to certain experiences and realities of life.
As we go through these lesson cycles, with each one we grow, and try, try to understand more of what we seek clarity and answers on. To truly understand our heart-soul and what it is we need to know in order to make a life that is joyful and authentic. In that process comes a certain pain, one that triggers emotions from old wounds of this lesson we keep trying to grasp. And so, we clear the board and set up our game again, begin again, and walk on. A new nugget tucked away in the backpack of self knowledge. This shit be gettin heavy, more nuggets on the wagon lads! SCORE!
Are there things we do not dare to admit? Things that we want for ourselves, unaware of their existence, clouding our view of even knowing what we require to fully flourish. Fear of accepting or hearing out loud what we truly want in life, or that we actually are deserving of it. Do we keep telling ourself; I can’t, I never, it’s not for me? Yet deep down in the crooks of it…it IS what the soul craves for us in this existence.
When I try to define love, I feel somewhat lost. How you love changes, there are many loves. There is the love for living, for being here now, a love for the person you are, were and are becoming, love for your family, unwavering tenderness for those near and dear to you. Romantic love. Many more versions and levels of, no wonder it’s so hard to find clarity on the one which feeds you, or the one which you reflect out into this world. All intertwined, smushed together in loving connection, it’s easy for me to lose where I am in love. It’s no surprise I get confused. Love is Love.
Sometimes we believe we are one way, we may think we are open to the life we desire, yet!, the rest of the world sees it differently. They see a big brick wall, I mean perhaps the structure is beautifully designed and the bricks are really quite lovely; but there doesn’t quite seem to be an opening through to the other side. The energy doesn’t match, if we are honest with ourselves, do our actions align with being receptive? All the while, running down the back line, arms flailing, screaming I AM OPEN! Cue ball torpedoing into our arms, and ACTUALLY catching it, crossing the end line, TOUCH DOWN MOFOS…but oops butterfingers and splatsville again, no home run. DAM IT!
Life’s a funny spot, it’s a messy confusing place most of the time. My posts talk about us getting out of our own way…kind of a running theme here; facing our fears and truths. The process isn’t easy, definitely no walk in the park. I find when I am facing the mirror and taking a look again, trying to see the way, it’s when those around me shine their great wisdoms on my shadow, the things they know, the messages they have received through their life lessons. THAT love connection is one I cherish the most. The kind, gentle, warm love of shared hurts, pains and revelations of what this life is. The good energy that makes me lighter, and gives me the momentum to go again and keep shinning, despite tripping and falling. To continue to look and see more clearly, to seek out the life my soul craves for me.
If we allow ourselves the space for joy in our pain, to allow both presence, to be vulnerable and compassionate with those lessons we are grasping, we can move through our lives with the love we need to meet ourselves truly, and really see who we are, and accept the things we actually want in this life for ourselves.
Go out there, be brave, be bold and be not afraid to keep learning, growing and shining your love in this world.