Ever held a secret for so long, you’re not quite sure if it’s actually happened/going to happen? Once the cat it out of the bag, shit gets real. Change is afoot in real-time. Dust is in the air, feelings of elation coupled with panic and fear keep you in a constant state of alertness, edge of your seat style. A huge sense of relief also comes over you like a calming blanket in the same breath. It’s confusing emotionally for sure!
I can finally say out loud that I have decided to take a short sabbatical from work. Boy does it feel good that my colleagues now know. Holding onto secrets are not good for your soul. It keeps you from growing and holds you back. Although I have known I am going away for the guts of nine months, and knew it was real, that act of it being out in the open at my workplace has made it all seem new again, and somewhat more real. I have been looking forward daily to this trip, yet now that it’s become common knowledge, I can’t help but look around, see and take stock of what I have right here and now. Funny that!
I’ve been so focused on working toward the goal, and even though I am grateful for where I currently am, I am starting to feel it more and more. I am grateful. I feel grateful. I think they might be slightly different? In any case, I feel it, washing over me daily. Change can do that. Flip your perspective on where you are, allow you to appreciate and be grateful, let go of any resentment or disappointment, see more of the good in your daily life you were missing, because, you know it’s all going to change and be different soon.
I have found it a little stressful in the office, but I am lucky to work with a lovely bunch of fun and diverse characters. I am enjoying organizing and training with my colleagues, taking time to listen, learn and see the work they do. Its shown me some skills I might like to develop, which was completely unexpected. I’m seeing my colleagues in a different light, and have shone that light on myself too. They are the ones facilitating my leave, for that I am ever grateful. Taking the chance to change or do something about an area of your life you need to work on, can open your eyes up in ways you never imagined possible. I have days when I panic, but I don’t allow myself dwell too long in the fear of what might lie ahead or allow it to take away from my decision to do something.
It’s never too late to do something, there is always something we can do. My decision to go off for a short three months has bled into all areas of my life, making me see and appreciate the time spent with the people I love and care about, do more of what I enjoy , and not take the time we/I have for granted. This trip has already taught me; to be present, connect and enjoy that time, and I’ve not even left yet. That is pretty powerful stuff.
What plans are you holding close to your chest. Why not let them out into the world, tell people, let it be real, enjoy the excitement of making it happen,the journey to it. Share and allow yourself be supported in the dreams and goals you want to reach. Hatch a plan! Our stories are not yet written, we can change the narrative whenever we want to. Don’t be scared, let the cat out of the bag and go for it, use that energy of letting it loose drive you closer to that dream. Imagine where it may lead.
A journey of self help and love 