I’m that girl with the disasterous love life. Yup! Heeey, that’s me, Queens wave. My 30’s to date, has been an absolute soap opera of dating mayhem. I had actually begun to grow fond of turning these disasters into funny antidotes, giving each lead male an endearing nick name, taking glee in regaling them. My love life was a mess, seemingly attracting more and more drama as the years went by. These funny tales being a way of coping with the highs and lows.
This last romantic interlude, and events that unfolded therein, pushed me to get….MAD, like super crazy pissed off rage mad, with….MYSELF. It was the straw that finally broke this little camels back. I mean, WTF was I doing? What HAVE I been doing with my life?? The penny was dropping. I had unwittingly spent, so much of my time focusing on boys/a boy/men, using it as a distraction tactic. Distracting myself from looking in the mirror. I am the one I have been waiting for! I am the one who hasn’t been listening, or seen myself. How could I let this go on for so long? This made me sad.
Queue me scrabbling around, hunting that self-help book down. There it was, quietly waiting for me, on my bedside locker, underneath the pile of books I hadn’t gotten around to reading yet. I CAN HEAL MY LIFE!I know this sounds lame, but BALLS I’m healing this shit up. Pass me the Bio Oil, I want no scars either! Hell yes, that’s right, I am committed to this, I am committing to myself. I am betting on me for a change. Numero Uno.
How does this even start? Well I wont lie. I looked for help. I asked friends, people I trust and spoke from the heart. I took a look around and said FUCK! Things just have to change. That’s it. I used work sheets, got busy writing down far off dreams, and things I had always wanted to do. What came through? Something small, but evident. I LOVE writing emails to the people in my life who I connect with. What do I do with that? When I looked back, I saw, hey girl, you write all the time. I have notebooks filled with scrawlings. It’s how I work through things, it seems.
I have decided I need to challenge myself, get out of my comfort zone and trust in the process. I have been floating for far too long. I want to succeed and be the maker of my own destiny. I know that what I am going through, is what many out there are too. I hope through my writing, stories and experiences of how I muddle through this challenge, to turn the ship around, I might inspire others to do the same.
Stop living like we are not enough, and start believing we are. Let’s not waste anymore time, and get busy living the way we really want to.
My blog is to help me stay focused and keep me moving forward with making positive change.
I have some fun challenges and things coming up on the horizon that I will be sharing here.